In another colossal  display of “progressive” sensitivities, the uber-liberal New York City Board of Education has banned words from standardized tests (War On Words) that in school officials’ minds, “make students feel unpleasant. . . ”  Presumably the CBSLocal “journalist” meant to say “uncomfortable.” The students are likely unpleasant enough already, they’re teenagers!

The “reporter” sub-headed the story, “George Carlin is rolling over in his grave.”  We don’t know that with certainty, but, we suspect that even George would consider a few of his “Seven Dirty Words” inappropriate for standardized high school exams.  Cover the children’s eyes and you decide: Shit, Piss, Fuck, Cunt, Cock-Suck, Mother-Fuck, and Tits.

Here’s the complete list to memorize so you too can be a modern Liberal:

Abuse (physical, sexual, emotional, or psychological)

Alcohol (beer and liquor), tobacco, or drugs

Birthday celebrations (and birthdays)

Bodily functions

Cancer (and other diseases)

Catastrophes/disasters (tsunamis and hurricanes)

Celebrities

Children dealing with serious issues

Cigarettes (and other smoking paraphernalia)

Computers in the home (acceptable in a school or library setting)

Crime

Death and disease

Divorce

Evolution

Expensive gifts, vacations, and prizes

Gambling involving money

Halloween

Homelessness

Homes with swimming pools

Hunting

Junk food

In-depth discussions of sports that require prior knowledge

Loss of employment

Nuclear weapons

Occult topics (i.e. fortune-telling)

Parapsychology

Politics

Pornography

Poverty

Rap Music

Religion

Religious holidays and festivals (including but not limited to Christmas, Yom Kippur, and Ramadan)

Rock-and-Roll music

Running away

Sex

Slavery

Terrorism

Television and video games (excessive use)

Traumatic material (including material that may be particularly upsetting such as animal shelters)

Vermin (rats and roaches)

Violence

War and bloodshed

Weapons (guns, knives, etc.)

Witchcraft, sorcery, etc.